The problem is AFTER the wedding. Obviously, I have to apply for permission to stay here and obtain a visa, and the waiting list for that is anywhere from 2 months to a year. Meanwhile, I can't go home, even for a short visit. In case I haven't mentioned it, I'm Mommy-Dependent. She and my sister have been pretty much my best friends (especially for the last year or two) and I'm finding it extremely difficult to be without them over here.
In a week's time I'm going to have to sign an agreement, and pay $1400 as security, that says I'm committed to staying here for at least 3 years (to obtain full legal residency) if not longer. That's a LONG TIME when you're practically alone. I know I have Tony, and now that I'm here I couldn't possibly even envision leaving him again, but there's a biiiiiig difference between having your partner around, and having your mom.
It kind of freaks me out. I guess I didn't think of this as we were rushing into crazy wedding plans, and visa plans, and everything. I didn't think, when I said bye to my mom and sister and little niece at the airport in September, that I wouldn't see them again for God knows how long. This was meant to be a 3 month thing, and then... everything was a little hazy after that. I suppose I'm so used to missing Tony and being without him that I was already mentally prepared for that. It's horrible to be without him, but I'm not alone at home and I'm not always isolated and sad. Here, I spend most of the time he's at work sitting in an empty apartment that contains none of my own things, with no distractions and no friends.
Maybe it'll get better when I can get a job. Maybe it won't get better and we'll have to ditch the visa plans and just move back to Ireland sooner than we'd planned. Maybe I don't know. I have no idea what's going to happen after the next 9 days are over.
Absolutely NO idea.
All I know is that I won't be seeing my family, and that's pretty darn depressing right now.
:(
P.S. Yes, yes I *am* freaking out over next week. I think it's a side effect. Or maybe the Mom thing is a side effect of the freaking out. Or maybe everything is a side effect of a deeper psychological issue. =p All I know is that I started bawling crying yesterday when I saw a bridal dresses ad on Facebook and I realised I don't have a pouffy fairy-princess dress for my wedding. I don't even have a freaking veil. Boooooo-urns.
HEY! What am I, chopped liver? Sheesh! Say you're crashing a girl's wedding, and all of a sudden you're relegated to non-friend status. Harrumph.
ReplyDeleteLOL, awww. I know I have friends here too, Lynda. :) I was just feeling vewy vewy sowwy for myself last night.
ReplyDeleteYou're allowed to feel sorry for yourself. I got married (one of two times anyway) without my mommy there, and I had both kids while she was far, far away. It sucks but you get through it. And now I live right next door to my mommy, and it's pretty terrific.
ReplyDeleteI do think, though, that if you can get a job or volunteer somewhere to get out of the apartment and meet some new people, it will be a little easier on you.
You are on the wrong coast to hang :( EAST COAST LOL. Is it possible, since you will be forced to stay here, for your mom to at some point fly out and see you once you have a better handle on time? That way you can show her CA and get mommy time?
ReplyDeleteI think that a job would def make it better, and I know now is so crappy for hiring, but I bet you could look into doing volunteer work for animals shelters or something since you can't have any in the apt. Or whatever volunteer work that is fun is available there. I think most places would be fairly in need, especially so close to the holidays.
I'd love to volunteer at an animal shelter, and I looked into it, but I need a police background check... which I won't have until the visa application is under way. :( But once I have it, I'll apply to Glendale shelter.
ReplyDeleteI figured you'd definately need one to work with kids or old people, but I'm kind of glad to know you need a background check to work with animals, keep the psychos away from the poor babies. Hopefully all is going well for the big day?
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